THE GARY REPORT • SEPTEMBER 8, 2026
Matt A’s Lawyer takes No. 1. The commissioner gets third. The numbers take no requests.
Ten drafted rosters. One formula. No commissioner bonus, defending-champion credit or group-chat lobbying. Matt A’s Lawyer opens at No. 1, but Nos. 2–5 are separated by just 3.9 projected points across the entire season. That is a traffic jam, not a meaningful gap.
Sleeper’s 2026 regular-season projections (provided by RotoWire), scored with this league’s settings: full PPR, six-point passing touchdowns, 0.04 points per passing yard, 0.1 per rushing or receiving yard, six-point rushing and receiving touchdowns, two-point conversions and minus two for interceptions or lost fumbles.
For every roster, the model selects the highest-projected legal combination of one QB, two RBs, two WRs, one TE and one RB/WR/TE FLEX. The total of those seven players determines the order. It may differ from the manager’s currently selected starters.
Kickers, defenses and bench depth are excluded equally for all teams. Long-touchdown bonuses are omitted because the projection feed does not supply those stats. No manual ranking overrides. These are season-total projections for one fixed lineup, not weekly forecasts or guaranteed outcomes.
This is a dated snapshot of drafted rosters, not a live ranking. Rosters and projections checked September 8, 2026. Small differences are not meaningful. The regular-season board uses completed-game results; its movement is compared only with other regular-season editions.
1,794.0 projected season points
Bijan Robinson leads the skill-position group, with Jalen Hurts and Kenneth Walker helping put this roster on top. The lawyer has submitted the strongest opening argument. Unfortunately, September projections are not admissible as a championship.
1,778.5 projected season points
Joe Burrow, Christian McCaffrey and Omarion Hampton anchor a balanced projected lineup. Second place, by numbers rather than volume in the group chat. Gary recommends enjoying the optimism before the first lineup decision.
1,777.2 projected season points
Josh Allen posts the highest individual projection in this lineup, alongside CeeDee Lamb and James Cook. The commissioner finishes third. Owning the website apparently does not come with an extra scoring category.
1,776.3 projected season points
Jahmyr Gibbs and Trey McBride give this lineup its strongest positional anchors. Ryan is fourth on this board, less than a point behind third. Please save the championship speech; the calculator has not heard it.
1,774.6 projected season points
Drake Maye, Brock Bowers and Jonathan Taylor lead the projection. Brian Thomas makes the model’s FLEX over currently selected Jadarian Price. Fifth sounds worse than it is: this team is only 3.9 season points behind second. Outrage should be purchased in moderation.
1,747.7 projected season points
Jaxon Smith-Njigba, Nico Collins and Chase Brown carry the largest skill-position projections. There is plenty here to compete with the teams above. Gary has placed the roster sixth and expects a strongly worded response shortly.
1,732.7 projected season points
Lamar Jackson and Ja’Marr Chase provide the headline projections. Parker Washington edges into the model’s lineup ahead of DJ Moore. Those names at the top are impressive; the full seven-player total still lands seventh.
1,703.4 projected season points
Jayden Daniels, De’Von Achane and Saquon Barkley lead a lineup with real projected scoring. Eighth is a place on this snapshot, not a season obituary. The team name has made a prediction; the roster is welcome to disagree.
1,695.3 projected season points
Justin Jefferson, Amon-Ra St. Brown and Garrett Wilson make a formidable-looking receiving group. The full lineup projects ninth despite those names. Gary checked every position because a team photo of the receivers does not fill the rest of the lineup.
1,693.5 projected season points
Puka Nacua carries the largest skill-position projection here. The model uses Jameson Williams at FLEX alongside Ashton Jeanty and Kyren Williams at RB. Just 1.8 season points separate ninth and tenth. Someone had to be last; nobody has earned a loss yet.
Gary’s final word: nobody gets a trophy for this list. Week 1 is where the receipts start.
